A magical wedding in Bali - Day 3 (June 6, 2012)

Elora and Rajiv entring the temple for blessings 

The final day of the wedding was in the temple where they went to take the blessings of the local priest. We all had to wear the local kebaya sarong and a sash. I decided to rent it, which was a wrong idea, as everyone in Indonesia seems to be of size 1 or 2. With great difficulty, I found one outfit that fit me and I was thankful for being spared shopping at this last minute. We all got ready and went to two temples where they did ceremonies and blessed the couple.  The temples were very simple, green and peaceful.  Some of the offerings near the alter were made using sprite bottles and people were wearing shoes and smoking inside the temple. They had two roasted pigs on a skewer as an offering to the Gods. Ritualistically, it felt wrong to wear shoes and allow smoking and meat in a temple but spiritually, the place felt very clean and content. I felt that the Indonesians might have altered some of the Hindu rituals (or may be they are right and we altered it in India) but they were really dedicated people.  Every home has a beautiful temple as a part of the premises. Most of the hotels and homes have Ganesha at the entrance. I love the way they retained the beauty and elegance of the ritual. After the ceremony, we walked over to the dinner area.

Balinese dancers post temple blessings 

In an open area, they created a huge circular arch of intricate bamboo weaves for dinner seating. We entered the arch, and sat down on the floor on the mats that was laid on both sides of a long table running below the circle of the arch. Food was served on banana leaves and was covered with banana leaves. As we uncovered the top set of banana leaves, we saw that the food was served community style where the rice was in one continuous motion in the middle surrounded by various dishes. All of us dug into it and had the most amazing conversations. Post dinner, there was Balinese dance and puppetry in a small theater across the street from the dinner area. There was also some gambling that you played with shells and not money. 

Me and Shilo in the clothes we dared to wear with flat chappals

What was amazing to me was that EVERY aspect of the wedding, be it the locations or how the food was served to the trashcans … everything was recycled or natural. The ceremony was not trying to adopt “green” principals.. it was “being green” in the way it existed. No one was trying hard to be ecologically correct, they just were so .. naturally. That is what I love about Bali. From something temporary as the little baskets they weave to carry the flowers for the offering to the permanent structures of homes, it is filled with perfection and beauty.  No one is being taught design or ecology or even religion. They are everything that you need to be .. naturally. May be I enjoyed only the privileged hospitality where it SEEM like everything was natural but even if that were so, I can say that I have not found that same sense in the most elaborate homes in India. Bali made me feel at home, with myself, with nature and with the natural order of the world that exists around me. And the wedding was a magical vehicle that encompassed what Bali was about in the most beautiful way.

I know why I go to weddings. Despite all the statistics that stare in our face, despite the number of adjustments two different people living under the same roof, we do our best to create these magical moments with all those we love so that later on, when we face tough times, we have someone or the other remind us of the magic of why we got married in the first place. Standing on that rock, when the tall, dark Malayali American Rajiv kissed the slim, elegant Canadian Balinese Elora in her flower dress, with a flowing river acting as the background music, time stood still and I enjoyed the love that existed in that moment. What happens later is up to Elora and Rajiv and I get to keep that moment for a long time to come.

Music and wedding

All pictures by Shilo Shiv Suleman

A magical wedding in Bali - Day 2 (June 5, 2012)

I woke up around 5 AM and was in a mood to write, work, think .. in a very quiet way. I did not want to go into town or explore the surroundings. I just wanted to be in my little bungalow. It reminded me of the summer holidays in Eluru where my grand parents lived in a small tile covered home with make shift room made of palm eaves serving as the bathroom in the backyard. I don’t remember my childhood as lacking in anything even though the facilities were minimal. I met James Clark for lunch. He has an organization that is located inside a state park in marin county and it was fascinating to discuss with him on how he worked with west marin citizens to make sure that the potential tourism of the place did not undermine the local ethos. He also talked about Perma culture and we discussed the need to create a 200 year plan (I thought of Raghava as he talks about the same). After our long conversation, I invited James as a speaker for the conference. He left around 1pm and I got ready for the wedding. We were warned, “dare to wear the most dressy outfit that goes with comfortable shoes”. So, I chose wear my flat shoes and a simple cotton kurta.

the bridge we took to get to Elora's wedding

We reached Elora’s home at 2pm and from the back yard of Elora’s family home, steps lead to the bottom of a steep hill to the riverfront where the wedding was set up on a pile of natural rocks. Colorful cushions were placed on rocks to let the guests sit and Elora’s came in a dress made of fresh flowers (see her dress in this beautiful photograph ) and Rajiv wore the traditional Malayali Mundu and shirt. Their friend Tom married them. With the flowing water as the background music, Elora and Rajiv read out the vows they wrote and said, “I do”. I was so moved by the simplicity, elegance, beauty and the serenity of the place. 

After the wedding, we all went on a short hike to get to the next destination.. the wedding reception. In the last week, they constructed bamboo bridges across the river, along the hillside and then we had to climb a muddy hill (thank god! None of us fell. Only our chappals were caked with mud) and we reached a place where fresh coconut water and delicious local snacks greeted us. I ate this snack that was made of Jaggery and was wrapped in palm leaf that was absolutely delicious.

The Banyan tree under which we had the reception dinner

Then, we were driven to the reception site, which was under an old banyan tree that was hundreds of years old. Apparently the main trunk died but the other roots that came out of the tree planted themselves into the earth spreading it very wide. Under the tree, in the shape of a mandala, they laid six long tables, chairs and benches. The tables and benches were all made from discarded wood from the green village. The marimba band from Green school was playing as we entered the arena. The discomfort of the hot summer night disappeared as we were swept away by the magic of the Marimba band and the roots that hung out from the tall tree firmly settled into the soil under our feet. The local children and families gathered as well to enjoy the music.

The Banyan Grove, where the reception took place 

Following the wedding, the guests got to play with rabbits 

Elora in a stunning beaded off white gown and Rajiv appeared amidst cheers and whistles. And then, we all sat and had an amazing meal. After each course, we had to get up with our wine glasses and go around in a circle and choose another place to sit when the music stopped. I got to talk to a lot of interesting people throughout the evening. At the end of the night, there was a disco area created where the disco ball hung from a clump of bamboo poles. I left the party by about 9:30 PM, as the dancing under the disco ball was still under way.

Elora and Rajiv saying "I do" under the big blue sky

All pictures by Shilo Shiv Suleman

A magical wedding in Bali - Day 1 (June 4, 2012)

me with John and team, the father of the bride and team that pulled off the wedding 

I love attending weddings. And there are some that remain in your memory forever. And the wedding of Elora and Rajiv is one such occasion. I arrived in Bali on the afternoon of June 4th and drove to my hotel “Kertiyasa bungalow” in the village of Nyuh Kuning in Ubud. I walked into a two story small bungalow with a living room downstairs and a bedroom and washroom upstairs. The shower is outdoors nestled in the small backyard that opens from the living room. I settled in, unpacked, took a shower and got ready in my sari for the “sari and sarong evening”.

Bamboo Indah, where the first night dinner was hosted 

Women from around the world – US, UK, France, Canada, India, Indonesia – all wore sarees and gathered at the Bamboo Indah, which is a wonderful resort run by Elora’s family. The common area is all built out of wood and mud and it was decorated with hanging garlands of bright yellow chrysanthemums. After a grand feast, we settled down on large cushions on the floor to enjoy the sangeet. Rajiv’s brother, Ranjith, is an amazing singer.  He and Elora’s family put together a song for them titled “Full moon party” that chronicled the lives of Elora and Rajiv and made fun of how they met in a yoga class. then her sisters sang “Hey baby I think I want to marry you” by Bruno Mars and then other family members sang, did bollywood dance and then all of us went to the lake front and lit these lanterns and let them float in the sky.  It was really magical to see the night sky lit up with the lanterns. I made a wish as I let go of my lantern and watched it till it became a speck and disappeared into the night sky. The dark night sky was lit up with full moon, which had floating lanterns as fleeing company. 

me with Shilo and John - INK curator, Fellow and speaker ... don't we make a great team? 

Elora, the bride with the magical marigolds 

All pictures by Shilo Shiv Suleman