Monday 23 September 2013

A Grand Daughter's Memory

I sometimes wish that we have our eulogies when we are alive, so that we can hear what others have to say about us. If success could be measured by the number of heartfelt memories we leave behind, my aunt was a super success. Just this letter from her grand daughter Syama, says it all.

"To my loving Grandma

How do I start?? What Can I Say?? Why she had to go?? You (Granny) made my life lighten up with your amazing smiles and talks. The bed time stories and tales told by you would take me into that world in dreams, the Epics of Rama, Mahabharata and the story of notorious Krishna. I miss the explanation of the words heard by you... you would describe how that and this happened, now no one is with me to describe.

It's still hard and painful to believe that you're gone. You always cared about my Health, nutty acts, and was the support bone when I got scolded by mom, saying “not a word on my granddaughter”. Now where has everything gone?? Who will Support me the way you did??  I am unable to bear the vacuum created by you. Even in the last days you used to call me "Syama! Syama!". I can still feel your voice.  I rush to your room now wishing that you were waiting to take my hand for a kiss as you do always. Now to whom I will say “I LOVE YOU AMAMMA” and who will I decorate with different Ornaments??

Grandma! the greatest reward in my life is knowing you. Nothing in the world could ever replace you, even for one second .I was lucky enough to spend more time with you more than anyone. I can never forget spending the nights cuddling you, putting my legs on you, sleeping with you, watching you prepare Yellow rice (Pulihora -all kinds of flavors) to all your Grandchildren with so much love and affection, making us compulsorily eat and made all those delicious dishes with your hands... The best treat was the mixed essence of PICKLES so peppery and seasoned with zesty taste which made our mouths water seeing them.

I can see you still hanging cloths in the front portion of our old home, because it was impossible to get them to dry in the rainy season... Those made me come into a playful mood. I know how much you enjoyed them. Can I get back those moments?? Can I have a Time Machine?? I loved just to sit and talk with you about anything and everything, no matter how trivial. You never thought about yourself but you always cared about others and their problems. You always listened to their stories, you have helped so many people. They were and will go on cherish your deeds.

All your staff and friends are missing you - Padmavathi Garu is missing her daily routine fights with you, Lalitha as usually gets up and checks the clock to tell you the time as you used to ask her daily and waiting with the Phonebook in her hand to dial the numbers ordered by you, Premraj is waiting to take you on a walk in the balcony.   Who will call Himaja in America  to ask her Day to Day and Hour to Hour updates?  On whose lap will I keep my legs so authoritatively and sit in front of the Television? Who will I butter for the things I want to buy, You were the one who used to convince Himaja to buy those thing. Come back once again to give me all these cherished moments my dear Granny. You always had time for me, you were never too busy and you never pushed me away. You held me and hugged me saying, "always be a good Girl my Bangaru Thalli". You laughed with me when I was happy and hugged me so warmly when I was sad. You always told me, "Everything will be alright".

God had a special plan for you I guess, Grandma. I think He knew that Heaven with Grandpa couldn't ever really be Heaven without you. Amomma (Grandma), please watch over all of us, but if I can ask for one more thing, it's that you please watch over Mom. She's the best Mom anyone could ask for. She gave up everything to care for you in your last days, and she needs you now more than ever. Everyone has gathered today to say our goodbyes and honor you in the best way we can. You are incredibly special to everyone who ever met you. You are one-of-a-kind and we all miss you terribly. Know that you are happy now where you are. I can only imagine how joyous the reunion was with all the family members you've lost over the years. Please enjoy them and don't be sad for us. You gave everything you had and more to make us all as happy as possible, and now it is finally your turn. Your sacrifices did not go unnoticed. Your love is forever appreciated and valued more than you may ever know.

Please stay in mummy’s heart and give her some of the strength you had. Thank you for always thinking of everyone else long before you ever thought of yourself. Thank you for making our lives far more special than they ever could have been without you. Come back for me Amamma! in any form – may be as Himaja's daughter or son! I am waiting for you. I love you more than anything else in this world and I'll see you again someday.

Love, Syama"


  1. Hi Lakshmi...the post is beautiful and very wonderfully worded. I came across your blog by chance today when I was looking through various links to INK talks. I see your profile which reads "host and curator at INK talks"; I was hoping if it isn't too much trouble are u part of the organization and if you were interested would it possible to help me with understanding the work that you do with INK.

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. Thanks Subbulu Pinni.... Thanks a lot... I don't know how to thank you for this.. I am so happy... Indeed I miss her a lot.. and you made it publish in your blog its like a privilege to me. In such a big and worldwide famous blog my small letter to Granny has come ... I am indeed lucky. Thanks so much again and again..

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